Explain as fully as you can how tectonic plates move?

Well you see, Satan lives in Hell below the earth, with the earth's crust as his ceiling. Well over millions of years Satan thought that his house was getting old and dated, so he decided to remodel. He did this by screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!" and kicked the earth into several pieces. He then put the earth back together and liked the style for another several million years and then repeated the process into a new style. His next remodeling is scheduled for December 21, 2012.